Geeky stuff

Gosh, I'm such a geek...
...
I made this long version of the He-Man theme song, so I can play it over and over with Dr. Megatron (that's the name of my iPod).
And the saddest thing is I did. The whole day, I've been listening to this song...

http://www.box.net/shared/fvzqjv2xqh

X-mas is coming...

I took the longer way home, to see the X-mas lights and the tree on the promenader.
It was beautiful. There's a huge round seal-like stone at the middle of the promenader. One young family was walking in front of me. Mom, dad, a little girl, and a baby riding, sitting in daddy's neck. The little girl suddenly realized they're at the big, round pavement stone in the middle of the street. She signald their secret code, and the whole family rushed and stepped on the pavement stone together. The little girl was so happy, she was jumping for joy.
They looked so cute together.
My iAudio was set on shuffle and was playing this song:
http://www.box.net/shared/s2zgjz8oc4
Fisherman's horizon - from Final Fantasy VIII.

I was so happy.

Dreams again

I still couldn't figure out how can I check the statistics of my blog. I'd really like to see how many people are reading this... If somebody knows how to check my blog statistics please let me know!
But then again, I don't think anybody reads this...

I've had the weird dreams again. I've had many dreams tonight.
First I were at home looking out of my childhood room's window (now it's my sister's room). It was night, and I saw city lights, wich is weird since we live outside the town. I could see all the way to Berlin, which is even more weirder. But now comes the good part!
Suddenly flying ships appeared! Ships made of wood, with sails and everything came flying through the air! Just like Thousand Sunny in the One Piece opening. I felt a great joy! I was hugging my mom, and yelling "can you see them? I told you they exist! I told you they're real!"
I felt so happy there with my mom watching those colorful ships fly in the night...

Then I had some other stupid dreams about parachuting, and getting a bj from a girl in a summer camp... Now, that one is exeptional, because it wasn't a pleasant dream, as some'd imagine. I don't really have erotic dreams, and I've never had an erotic dream I ejoyed. This one was the same. I remember this girl wanted to give me a bj, and then my dream skipped a scene, and it was over. All I remember is how I depised that whore...

Well, let's see what mr Sandman has for me tonight!
G'night my non-existent readers!

Second-hand Lions

I spent most of the day alone.
It was great. I studied, and watched a movie I downloaded earlier this week. Oh, and I made my famous scrambled-eggs for lunch. The movie I saw was Second-hand lions. It's an old one, as my flatmate pointed out later, when he returned home with his gf. I've never heard about this movie before, but I really enjoyed it. It's about a boy, who gets left at his uncles for the summer. The boy was raised by his mother alone, and he slowly starts to like his uncles he never met before. He finds father figures, and his own personal heroes in them.
This movie made me realize how badly I need a father figure...
My grandfathers died when I was still little, and I barely speak with my father. He never calls me, and I don't call him either. I was mad at him so many times, when I was still a child, that I've forgotten how not-to hate him. He lives with us, he didn't left or anything, it's just that he's never home, he's never there, and even if he's there, he don't seem to care. I mean we can sit in a car together in silence for hours...
I love him though, I just don't want to be like him. He never was my role model... and I think I need one.

Don't belong...

Sometimes I feel even more alone...
I have these online friends. I met them online, and later offline too. It's a small bunch of people, who like to be together. We keep in touch via a private internet forum.
Lately I've started to feel that I don't really belong to them. I'm more eduacted than most of them. Yeah, it sounds S.M.U.G., but that's the way I feel. I never feel like this when I'm with my friends from the university. I don't have to constantly convince them about the grave errors in their thinking.
I just want to be left alone now.

And I have to study more. My language exam is next Sunday.

Sometimes I think something's wrong with me. Like I lack some very basic skills every human beign has. For example social skills, or...

... that I'm incapable of love.

Yeah, it sounds silly, especially with this comic posted, but what if it's true? I barely have any relationships with other people except my family. My family, I haven't seen in 4 weeks now... I think about them a lot though. But that's all. I never go to party with my flatmate, I usually just sit around my computer, or read somethig... And the thing that scares me the most, is that I'm happy. Or I'm just keep telling it to myslef?

I just love One Piece. This show always makes me laugh. I've been watching it for like 2 years now... And all the characters are like my friends now.
I uploaded the new opening of the show, because I like it so much.
It's a bit long...



I also like the new Naruto opening. The music is not so great, but the last picture of Naruto and Sasuke with a blades at each others throat... now that's epic.

I have no idea what to buy for my parents for Xmas. But I kow I'd be really happy for the Guitar hero game :D

The big D

I'm a huge Disney-nerd. Probably the biggest I know... That's why it's such a shame, that I haven't done any Disney Music Video (DMV) yet.
So here it comes boys and girls!



I really had fun making this. I used all my favorite scenes from my favorite movies. My absolute favorite one is Pocahontas. I just can't forgive my mom for accidentaly braking my favorite Pocahontas-mug back at home.

I started the process for the phD degree today. From today on I have 2 years to make my exams, and do all the publications needed. Hope it'll be alright.

Weird dreams

I've been having this weird dreams lately. Yesterday, I dreamt that I was powerful like Peter Petrelli from Heroes. Some guys wanted to capture me and my friends. We were at a corridor with a glass wall at the end. I just put my hand on the glass, and the bad guys couldn't shoot us. The glass became bullet-proof.
Today I dreamt that a snake was all around me. A snake with no head. He had a tail instead of a head. It was creepy.

There are times, when I feel, I'm the worst PhD student in the world.
This is one of those times now...
Do I really suck at research?
Or am I just too lazy?
Would I be better if I had a research to work on, that actually interests me?
The life of a scientist is filled wit oh so many questions...

I'm watching moday night RAW.
Snitzky's match is perfect for wrinting my new blog entry. Somedays even I am scared of how important those wrestling shows are for me. Don't know why. I just have to watch it every week. I've been watching RAW for 4 years now, and never missed one show.
And it's not even on tv in my country. I have to download it.
Guess I'm a die-hard fan.
My biggest dream is to work with WWE on the road. I could be an arrogant heel with a phD :D
Assuming that I ever get my phD...

Today is the birthday of my flatmate. I made a music video for him, and posted it to him at midnight.



He want's to have a party on our flat this friday. I'm not really such a party-animal as he is. But I guess I have no choice now. It's his birthday after all.

Ah, it's Jeff & Rey vs Kennedy & Finlay! I have to watch this!

Road trip with my parents

Yesterday we went on a road trip with my sister and parents. Just like in the old days. That's another thing we'll loose when my sister gets married... :(
We went to lake Balaton. My grandfather is buried there, and we visit his grave every year.My grandma lives there too, but my dad and she had a falling out not long ago, so your visit at her was really uncomfortable, even for me. Grandma is strange...


Gawd, how I hate this old computer I'm working with at home. I actually have to wait for like 5 seconds form my letters to appear on the screen. This sucks so badly...

I got an e-mail from my best buddy from high school. He was doing his phd in Switzerland. He's finished now! Big congrats to him, and he 's got a job in Washington DC! Wow! I envy him so much! It'd be awesome to spend a year in the US as a post-doc! I wished him all the best! He's such a great guy, he succeeds in everything! We haven't really spend any time together since high school, but I'm glad he's my friend.

This comp suxxx so bad, I have to finish now. I really don't want to break anything here, but I'm getting angry fast...

The day of the dead

In my country, we call it the day of the dead. It's a sad holiday here. We don't wear masks, or costumes. We go to the cemetery and remember those who died.

I'm lucky. I've only lost my grandfathers, when I was way too young to remember it. That's why I admit, I don't miss them too much, since I've barely even knew them. But I saw a guy today in the cemetery. I know him from high school. He's like 3 years older than me, and I've never even spoke to him, but I knew his mom. She was a friend of my mom. And she committed suicide when I was still in high school.
That kid just stood there, at the grave of his mom today. Silently and alone. Alone in a cemetery filled with people. he looked so strong. Yet it was hard for me to look at him. I acted like, I didn't know who he was. But I'm sure, my mom noticed him too.
I wanted to talk with her tonight, maybe tell her how grateful I am, that she's still with me. But I couldn't make myself go down the stairs and spend an evening together. Even when I'm home, I just sit upstairs in my room. I've been home the whole week, and I've barely even talked to her. Let alone my dad.

Earlier today I met with some kids from the orphanage. They were out with a teacher at the fishing pond. I went there with my dog, to finally enjoy some sunshine. The kids were fascinated by the dog. They were so happy just to touch her. Those kids own nothing in the world. And they don't even have parents...